Jun 2022 – Sadiya Mukhtar

Monthly Reflection: June 2022

Half of the year has gone by already. It truly has been fast for me. I remember coming into this year with loads of optimism and I’m glad I’ve still got it in me. So how has your year been so far? Let me know in the comments.

I recently published a blog post titled Time for a mid-year review. If you haven’t, then check that out.

Here are the learnings and experiences I found worth sharing from June 2022.

Random Thoughts (Learnings)

Everything is not what it seems: What is apparent to you may not be the reality behind the scenes. Many things happen especially on social media that are completely different in reality. This is why you should not compare your life to someone’s well-captured and edited social media life. With regards to the cases we have seen trend recently, the whole world may have a wrong impression of a situation simply because of what was put out online.

Don’t let your day-to-day tasks take away your focus from your vision or objective. If you have a dream, remind yourself of it as often as possible. The dream is what gives you excitement while the rigorous activities to achieve it are likely to drain that excitement. Learn to keep your eyes on the price.

What I Learned

In hindsight, most of the things people stress over in their 20s are never do-or-die affairs. Rather than thinking you need to have everything figured out in 10 years, consider your 20s as a phase of data collection. These are the years you’ll learn about yourself as an individual and in different areas of life.

We are told that to be successful in life, we need to work really hard and make a lot of sacrifices. Research has shown that hard work contributes only a portion – 1/3 – of the ingredients required for success. The other two (more important) components are unfair advantages and luck. Acknowledging this will greatly reduce the weight of responsibility you may feel about achieving your goals.

Book I Read

Find Your People (self-help) 4/5

Read summary

Movies I Watched

1. Book of Love (Rom-Com) 2.5/5

2. Love guaranteed (Rom-Com) 3/5

Events I attended

I had a great time at the SustyParty event organized by SustyVibes which is a social enterprise making sustainability actionable for young people in Nigeria.

Quote Of The Month

Keep going because you did not come this far just to come this far.
A random Pinterest pin

Blog Posts Published This Month

1. Find Your People – Book Summary – Jennie Allen

2. Time for a mid-year review!

3. International Day of The African Child – June 16th

4. You Aren’t Alone in Feeling Alone

5. Tips for Gratitude Journaling

6. Gratitude For What You Do Not Have

If you like this blog post, please tap the like button below and leave your feedback. Feel free to share your highlights and learnings from this month and I’ll see you in the comment section.

Share this with a friend or anyone who you think will enjoy it as well.

Bye.

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Find Your People – Book Summary – Jennie Allen

Rating: 4/5

About The Book

In a world that’s both more connected and more isolating than ever before, we’re often tempted to do life alone, whether because we’re so busy or because relationships feel risky and hard. In Find Your People, bestselling author Jennie Allen draws on fascinating insights from science and history, the bible, and vulnerable stories from her own life.

About The Author

Jennie Allen is the founder and visionary of IF: Gathering as well as the New York Times bestselling author of Get Out of Your Head, Made for This, Anything, and Nothing to Prove. A frequent speaker at national events and conferences, she is a passionate leader, following God’s call on her life to catalyze a generation to live what they believe.

Impressions

I saw this book on Pinterest and the cover looked aesthetic but unlike other equally aesthetic books I see, I felt the need to read this one. I am glad I did because this was a nice read.

Who Should Read It?

1. Everyone who lives in the 21st century

2. Anyone craving deep-meaningful relationships

How The Book Changed Me

I now place greater value on my relationships. I used to think that it was just my personality that made me not have as deep of connections as I’d wanted but now I realize that there were significant elements that were missing; like time and vulnerability.

My Top Three Quotes

“God built us for deep connection to be part of our day-in, day-out lives, not just once in a while in the presence of a paid therapist.” – Jennie Allen.

“I want us to trade lonely and isolated lives that experience brief bursts of connectedness for intimately connected lives. That know only brief intervals of feeling alone” – Jennie Allen.

“You will never have friends unless you are willing to consistently initiate.” Jennie Allen.

Summary + Notes

In this book, the author highlights some main concepts which are connection, commitment, vulnerability, honesty, and intimacy. She provides solutions to our real-life, day-to-day problems related to relationships.

Part 1: We Need Each Other

Part 2: The Path To Connection

Part 3: Fighting For Your Village

Since 2020, there has been a trend on YouTube and other social media portraying the beauty of solitude. You may have seen videos titled “living alone vlog” or something along that line. While that has been helpful to some extent (especially during the lockdown era), some misunderstand it and/or take it too far to believe they are better off alone and do not need others to thrive.

The author takes us back in history giving the example of Adam and Eve. Adam was gifted with Eve as a companion. This concept of companionship has existed since then and people have been living in communities and thriving while doing so. The rising level of loneliness in our society has a direct link to our increasing pursuit of independence.

There are scientific studies that show how many relationships we can manage and how we socially interact with people. Basically, we can handle a network of only about 150 people. People you talk to at least once or twice a year. Much more than that and it falls apart!

Research suggests that we can handle only fifty people in what we will call our acquaintances. Within those fifty people, there are fifteen people in our village. And within our village, we have a capacity to make five of them our BFFs. You read that right. Only five!

We are better with people around us. We can do bigger things and achieve greater goals. Needing each other is not a weakness but a strength. When we can constantly show up for each other and assist each other in this thing called life, it will be a much more fulfilling experience.

Conclusion

I liked that the author provided actionable steps to finding your people, some of which I implemented immediately. It is easy to get caught up in trying to network and know as many people as possible and risk spreading yourself too thin that you don’t invest enough time in your most important relationships.

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Time for a mid-year review!

Photo by NO NAME

PS: I’m not the only one doing this. You ladies and gentlemen should open up your 2022 goals and let’s do this together.

The goals I set for myself this year were far from the conventional SMART goals. This year, my goals were pretty vague but that was intentional. I wanted to

1. Focus on the journey and not the destination, and

2. Not restrict myself to a particular path towards achieving those goals.

Here are my 2022 goals and how far I’ve come in achieving them

Explore new things in blogging

This has gone pretty well Alhamdulillah. I gave my site a retouch (an updated look) and also explored topics I never tried before. I also used SEO a lot more and other resources that ultimately made the process a lot easier and more worthwhile.

Speak in front of an audience

Yet to do that.

Read 12 books across 12 different genres

I’m currently on genre 5 and book 8 so we’ve made progress there. I do have a few books I have not finished reading so I’m going to have to do that soon.

Memorize more of the Qur’an

Doing that steadily, Alhamdulillah.

Say “yes” a lot more

As vague as this goal sounds, I have done it so much that it has almost become second nature. If the requirement makes me uncomfortable, I just double-check to see if it aligns with my top 3 values (growth, discipline, and impact) and then make a decision. I have had the most fun with this.

Help people with mental health issues

Is it safe to call myself “people”? It may seem to me like I haven’t achieved this goal but this year, I went through a lot of mental lows, but with the help of Allah and various tools I had, I managed to resurface and come back stronger.

Plant a tree

Yet to do this.

Live more eco-friendly

Everyone around me knows that I achieved this goal. But, as this is not a destination but a journey goal, I know I can do more and I hope to do just that.

Save and invest in stocks

Achieved! My investments are 100% in index funds at the moment so don’t ask me which companies I’m invested in. Even I don’t know most of them.

Get a paying job

Achieved! Alhamdulillah.

Improve my Spanish

Entonces, esto no es facil pero mi español es mejor ahora. I hope I said that well. I have been using the Duolingo app and watching some videos on YouTube.

Get good at playing chess

I don’t consider myself as good to be honest.

The last goal has to do with charity so I won’t be disclosing that here but Alhamdulillah.

I also did some things I did not plan to do which include taking some online courses. So far, I’ve taken one diploma course and two certificate courses. I hope to add to those soon In Sha Allah.

For update on this, sign up to the email newsletter below. Please share your goals in the comments so we can cheer you up and motivate you to move forward.

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If you found this helpful and enjoyed this article, please like, comment, and share it with a friend or anyone you think would benefit from it.

Thank you for reading and I will see you next time.

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Your Normal is Someone’s Extraordinary – Blog Post #100

Photo by Pixabay

Have you ever thought of how the cars you drive everyday or the planes in which you fly or the smartphones you use all the time were unimaginable a thousand years ago… and even later?

Now, fast forward to today, 2022. Do you know that there are many things you see as absolutely normal or even mundane that may be phenomenal to others who are living at the same time as you?

Though the level of development in various places is different, each place has something unique it possesses.

It is not just technology. This applies to several other things… like mindset or talent. I have had many people tell me “so you just sit down and type words onto a page and they just make sense? That is wonderful. You’re so talented”. I often feel a bit uncomfortable because I don’t consider myself talented (in the conventional sense) and don’t see what I do as anything far from normal. But it isn’t ordinary. What I do is great and I do it well.

Take a step back and think of all the things you have or can do that truly are not typical. I assure you that you will begin to appreciate your life a little more and be a little more grateful. You can thank me later.

I want to say a big thank you to everyone who has ever read, left a like or comment, or shared any of my blog posts. You are the reason why I continue to do what I do. Thank you for all the support and all the kind words of encouragement. I am truly grateful. 100 blog posts no be beans. 😂 Alhamdulillah.

I hope you have a lovely rest of your weekend and please don’t forget to sign up for the newsletter below for exclusive content.

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International Day of The African Child – June 16th

Photo by BEING MOMENTX

To celebrate the International Day of The African Child, I will be sharing some poetry works of young Africans.

African Child

I am an African child

Born with a skin the colour of chocolate

Bright, brilliant and articulate

Strong and bold; I’m gifted

Talented enough to be the best

I am an African child

Often the target of pity

My future is not confined to charity

Give me the gift of a lifetime;

Give me a dream, a door of opportunity;

I will thrive

I am an African child

Do not hide my fault

show me my wrong

I am like any other;

Teach me to dream

And I will become

I am an African child

I am the son, daughter of the soil

Rich in texture and content

Full of potential for a better tomorrow

Teach me discipline, teach me character, teach me hard work

Teach me to think like the star within me

I am an African child

I can be extra-ordinary

call me William Kamkwamba the Inventor;

Give me a library with books

Give me a scrap yard and discarded electronics

Give me a broken bicycle;

Plus the freedom to be me

And I will build you a wind mill

I am an African child

We are the new generation

Not afraid to be us

Uniquely gifted, black and talented

Shining like the stars we are

We are the children of Africa

Making the best of us

Yes! I am an African child

Written by Eku McGred

Colour

When I born, I black;

When I grow up, I black;

When I go in sun, I black;

When I scared, I black;

When I sick, I black;

And When I die, I black.

And you White fellows:

When you born, you pink;

When you grow up, you white;

When you go in sun, you red;

When you cold, you blue;

When you scared, you yellow;

When you sick, you green;

When you die, you grey;

And you call me coloured.

Nominated for Best Poem of 2005

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You Aren’t Alone in Feeling Alone

Photo by Marina Shatskikh

Loneliness is something we all experience.

In today’s world, people feel lonely more frequently than not. 3 out of every 5 people admit to being lonely often.

What if I told you that all hopes are not lost and we can all stop being lonely and experience real, deep connection?

We are constantly surrounded by people whether we’re at home, at work, or school, at the grocery store, or even at the bank. Any public space we could go to has people.

Is it that we don’t consider them as potential friends?

What about the friends we already have? Why don’t we feel connected to them? Are we simply too busy or is there a deeper reason?

The biggest reason why a lot of our friendships don’t feel deep or close enough is that we put up walls between others and ourselves. We think we are protecting our hearts from pain or disrespect. We set impenetrable boundaries with everyone around us. And we wonder why we are lonely.

Our reflex answer to “how are you?” is “I am great, and you?” when we constantly have worries and concerns. We want everyone to think our lives are great and we are doing great all the time. We hate to express our weaknesses. And we wonder why we are lonely.

We stay home all weekend and would opt for Netflix instead of meeting up with our loved ones. Even when we do meet up with friends, we engage in shallow talk and spend half the time on our phones. And we wonder why we are lonely.

Those walls need to come down, you have to engage in more intentional conversations and notice opportunities for potential friendships and acquaintanceships where you otherwise wouldn’t.

This process is very uncomfortable but we need to risk the discomfort and let people into our lives on a deeper level. It is a journey so you need to be patient and also be willing to try, fail and try again. You succeeding in this does not mean you will never feel lonely again. It just means that loneliness will not surround your very existence but will instead be rare in your life.

We can all experience deep, fulfilling relationships – if we put in the work.

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Tips for Gratitude Journaling

Photo by Pixabay

If you have been following this blog for some time you know that I’m big on journaling as well as gratitude and gratitude journaling is the perfect blend of the two.

Everyday, I write down three things I am grateful for but I don’t just do it randomly. I base it on three questions. Here are the three points I use for my daily gratitude journaling.

1. What do I have in my life that is completely from God and I had no influence whatsoever?

2. What have I worked on that I achieved? Or What was once a dream that is now my reality?

3. What has someone in my life done for me recently that I appreciate?

The key is to recall recent events rather than distant ones and feel free to include even the most mundane things.

Benefits of this journaling exercise

1. It increases positivity.

2. It helps you notice your progress and successes.

3. It helps you appreciate the people in your life and nurture your relationships.

4. It increases your self-esteem.

5. It makes you learn more about yourself.

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Gratitude For What You Do Not Have

Photo by George Dolgikh

We often hear about being grateful for what you have and what you have been blessed with by The Almighty. But little do we hear about being grateful for what you do not have.

You may find this interesting and wonder why you should be grateful for things that aren’t even in your life. Take a moment to think about this. What are things you are glad you don’t have?

Here are a few things to be grateful you do not have.

1. Responsibility

For many people today, their main worry is about the various responsibilities they are weighed down by. It may be the responsibility of taking care of their children, parents, grandparent or even siblings which if they had a chance to, they would not choose to.

Responsibilities often take away from people in terms of their time, energy and money. You should be grateful if you are free from the need to take care of another individual (if this happens to be you).

2. Deadly diseases

If you do not have any illness that makes you count the days you have left on earth, you are extremely lucky. Millions of people have to deal with this daily and would give up anything to be healthy again.

We focus so much on what we do not have that we want and forget that there are things that we don’t have that we wouldn’t want to have and that The Almighty protects us from so much that we do not realize.

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If you found this helpful and enjoyed this article, please like, comment, and share it with a friend or anyone you think would benefit from it.

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